There has been a debate going on in the greyhares’ burrow1 as to exactly who we represent. The problem is that we have allied ourselves specifically to grey hares but within a fortnight of our launch, two difficulties have been raised – one cosmetic, the other seasonal.
What do we do about those who dye their hare; those whose hare masquerades as blonde, brunette or blue but in whom a close peek between rinses reveals telltale grey roots? And what about those who have no hare at all – the hare-less?
As purists we would prefer the real thing but, out of our gregarious nature3, we have decided to resolve the dilemma by admitting all those who hare is grey, those whose hare would be grey were it not for colouring (or other camouflage devices), those who are hare-less and those whose hare is both intact and naturally non-grey but who otherwise qualify on grounds of age, wisdom and sharpness.
Now to a little seasonal issue. There is someone amongst us with a fine white beard, who, in his present manifestation, is of the greyhares generation (born of Coca- Cola in the 1930s), and who we assume has countless experiences in marketing at least. The problems are that there is nothing about him (or is it her) that is verifiable as he always wears a hat, always works nights (and then only for one night a year) and never responds to enquiries (at this time of year he is snowed under). Even so, greyhares would welcome his views, possibly an explanation and perhaps even a present.
- The correct term for a hare’s residence is a ‘form’ or ‘lay’. Unlike rabbits, hares do not dig burrows underground – a hare’s form is little more than a shallow depression or nest of flattened grass. They rely on their great speed (45/72 mph/kph) to escape predators.
- The male brown hare is slightly smaller than the female.
- There are more collective nouns for hares than for almost any other animal, including drove, down, husk, leash, trace, trip and warren – not to mention ’eminence’ which we propose for the grey variety.